Below is a letter from a past participant of a Deeper Still Retreat to her sisters in Christ who have just returned home this past weekend. The retreat was just glorious and there will be testimonies of God’s goodness posted on our website later today www.GoDeeperStill.org. We, team and participants alike, are still basking in the glory stories of all that the prayers of the saints accomplished in less than 48 hours as we pulled away on a mountaintop with Him. Enjoy these encouraging words from a sister who loves each and every one of you and truly understands as she has been there.
You made it through the retreat, and came out a new Creation. You ripped open wounds and poured salt on them by discussing them and sharing them with strangers…but now you feel clean and restored. The hardest part is over….right? Maybe, but you may find yourself in another kind of spiritual battle right now. The enemy may be whispering things to you like, “that wasn’t real” or “you aren’t REALLY forgiven” or any number of things like this.
Before I began my retreat I was really interested in being a part of the Deeper Still ministry, So I sort of felt like I was at an audition of sorts; no one made me feel this way except me and the enemy. So I found myself being guarded in certain emotional situations and even more scared to share my secrets for fear that the whole team would reject me forever. I was really struggling with acceptance the whole time. All of the women there were pouring out unconditional love to me, and yet I was still second guessing my responses and not really letting go. I really tried to fight this, on my own and with prayer. I know that people on site were praying for me as well as prayer warriors outside the retreat, and because of this, I was able to open up enough to receive great healing and restoration! Hallelujah!!
Now that I am home, and my retreat has been over for a year, sometimes I hear that familiar whisper of the enemy. Sometimes I think that I wasn’t REALLY healed because I couldn’t let go enough, or that I could’ve received more restoration if I had of been more open….But thenI remember feeling Christ right there with me as I lay on my face sobbing on the floor in front of the big wooden cross at the retreat; I remember the presence of God as a mother held me in her arms and let me cry, body wracked with sobs, healing a wound of abandonment that I didn’t even know existed….God is so big, He is so great, He is so loving!
If I ever begin to doubt the authenticity of my healing and forgiveness, I need only to look at the manifestations of God’s Grace in my life: I am not proud of my abortion, but neither am I ashamed. I am able to share my story without overwhelming guilt and sobs. It still saddens me, yes, but not I see the glorified image of my baby girl with Jesus. I KNOW that I am forgiven and redeemed, set free and set apart!
Don’t let the enemy fool you with his lies; he will try to put a destructive spin on events in your life. Keep you eyes and heart open to God’s Truth! I pray that God would continue to give you wisdom to differentiate between the enemy’s lies and God’s truth. Hold fast to the promise of God. The things that you experience with Him are real, and no one can take those from you, not even the enemy!
What God has given us no one can take away.
Thank you, Ryann, for your precious words of Truth and encouragement to us all. Blessings in return!